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Sex & Disability Myths Busted

sensual solutions

People living with disabilities (PWDs) can and do have sex. Really! Few people, even researchers, have talked about sex and disability in the past. Thankfully, this is changing. But there are still lots of myths – let’s bust them!

Myth 1: People with disabilities don’t have sex

People living with disabilities (PWDs) can be just as sexual as their able-bodied peers. And PWDs have desires and sexual needs just like everyone else, even though they may express them differently.
Some people think that PWDs are less adventurous sexually than their peers. But that’s also a myth.

Myth 2: All PWDs are virgins

People with disabilities can have sex, so don’t assume someone is a virgin just because they have a disability.
This myth puts PWDs at risk of being abused, as some people believe in ‘virgin cleansing’, the belief that having sex with a virgin will cure them of STDs such as HIV.

Myth 3: PWDs don’t need love or sex

Just because someone lives with a disability doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of love, or don’t need sex. They are worthy, and they can love and be loved.

Myth 3: PWDs can only have sex and be in relationships with other PWDs

Relationships are always hard work for both partners, whether they are living with disabilities or not. But, just because you live with a disability doesn’t mean that you are unable to contribute to a relationship. Relationships are about mutual respect and loving and caring for each other.

Myth 4: PWDs can’t have real sex

There is no such thing as ‘real sex’. There are no rules to sex. Sex is always different, and you can never have sex the same way twice. So how can there be a right or a wrong way? Have sex the way you and your partner like it, that’s all that matters!

Myth 5: PWDs can’t get STDs

Wrong. A person’s disability doesn’t affect STDs. Which means that people with disabilities are just as likely to get STDs as everybody else. So it’s important to use condoms or only have sex with a partner who has been tested for STDs.

Myth 6: PWDs don’t need sex education

Of course they do – if people are going to have sex, they should have all the information they need. On protecting themselves from STDs and pregnancy, for example. And have a basic idea on what’s happening when you have sex. Or learning how to cope with sexual violence. And contrary to what some people believe, access to sex education will not encourage people to have sex. But if they do choose to have sex, having had sexual education allows them to make informed decisions!

Myth 7: PWDs shouldn’t have children

If there are no anatomical restrictions, PWDs are just as capable of being good parents than everyone else. They may need some help on occasion, but which new parent doesn’t?

Text: Stephanie Haase


20% Off Sex Toys for Disabled Adults

20% off 604.836.6484 Pleasure Without Apology!

Our founder, Trish St John, was interviewed by a new online sex toy website. Check it out.

More Than Sex Toys is offering a 20% discount off any purchase and they have a super segment devoted to toys for people living with disability.


Scarlet is Back!

Welcome Back Scarlet

It’s great to have Scarlet back with us as an Intimacy Coach. Scarlet is a beautiful Latina and was very popular with our clients. She’s 38 and has a nursing background. She speaks three languages and loves to salsa dance! Please call 604.836.6484 to set up your appointment or fill out our House Call Request Form

Welcome back Scarlet!


Valentine’s Survival Guide – Reposted from Rick Hansen Foundation

Our Recent Post on the Rick Hansen Foundation Blog

For people who are single (and even for those who aren’t) Valentine’s Day isn’t always so sweet. Here are some tips and resources to help you through the day from Trish St John, founder of Sensual Solutions, an organization that assists adults with disabilities explore and discover their sexuality.

Remember your grade school Valentine’s experience? It starts to sink in around this time: This day isn’t always so great. And if you know the history of the holiday, St. Valentine’s story isn’t a happy one either. He was beheaded on February 14 in the 3rd century (which really sucked for him).

These days, many people feel that Valentine’s Day is uncomfortable, unnecessary and a cause of anxiety. Yes, one of the most romantic days of the year is also one of the most stressful. A commercially-driven economic powerhouse for florists, chocolatiers, restaurants, jewelry stores, and fancy underwear makers – it’s a lot of pressure and a lot of expectation to make the day extra special and romantic for your significant other. Now, what about if you’re single and living with a disability? It’s easy to feel down and alone on Valentine’s Day. Here are some tips and resources that will help you make it through the day:

Love yourself first: Spend the day appreciating you!

Reflect on your uniqueness and what you’re grateful for
Read a good book, have a nice meal, call an old friend
Eat chocolate and drink wine
Become a romantic – explore the art of romance and intimacy from a Sensual Solutions coach!
Enjoy the day no matter what you choose to do

Get out there: There are lots of fun group activities to participate in!

Check out some meet-up groups in your area
Discover the various Facebook pages and groups devoted to dating and dating for people with disabilities
Go dancing! Visit Just Dance! for a different kind of dance experience

Rage against the Valentine’s machine: Have a little anti-Valentine’s fun.

Netflix and wine, lots of wine
Have a “Stupid Cupid” event: a night at the pub with your friends, a night in with your family or cuddling with your pet on the couch
Buy a heart-shaped piñata and beat the crap out of it until candy falls out. Eat all the candy.

Love where you live: Forget all the hearts and flowers and make it a day to support your community.

Give blood. Denounce Cupid’s powers and give from your heart – blood banks are always in short supply
Adopt or foster a furry or feathered companion. Studies show that loving an animal reduces stress and increases the feel good drugs – dopamine and oxytocin. There are many terrific animal rescue organizations throughout the province as well.

Pat Benatar knew it best when she sang “Love is a Battlefield.” So gear up and get ready for another year of teddy bears and red heart-shaped balloons, but remember, it’s only one day – protect your self-esteem and send loving thoughts inward and out into the universe. It can’t hurt. And it won’t suck.

About the author: Trish St John is the founder of Sensual Solutions, an organization that assists adults with disabilities explore and discover their sexuality. Intimate and respectful care for men, women, and couples. Find more information about Sensual Solutions on their website, Facebook page, or Twitter account.


Sex With Robots Is Our Future?

Robot Sex

The Future of Sex

Sexual Relationships With Robots Could Become Normal in Future

‘Sex tech’ is already advancing at a pace and in 50 years’ time early 21st Century physical relationships might seem very primitive. Virtual sex is developing alongside technology that has the capability to totally transform our physical experiences.

Already you can order a mannequin partner online. And robotic, interactive, motion-sensing technology is likely to become more and more central to the sex industry in the next few years. It could really start to enable mannequin partners to ‘come to life’.

Many current technologies are designed to enhance sexual experience with a partner. Others are designed to help improve performance, which can often increase sexual confidence. However, as robotic sexual technology advances, it is also likely that social norms about sex and relationships will change in the future.

We tend to think about issues such as virtual reality and robotic sex within the context of current norms. But if we think back to the social norms about sex that existed just 100 years ago, it is obvious that they have changed rapidly and radically.

#Robophilia may be alien now, but could be normal in the near future as attitudes evolve with technology.

As virtual reality becomes more realistic and immersive and is able to mimic and even improve on the experience of sex with a human partner; it is conceivable that some will choose this in preference to sex with a less than perfect human being.

People may also begin to fall in love with their virtual reality partners. This is an issue explored in the recent film Her, in which Joaquin Phoenix’s character falls in love with an operating system. This may seem shocking and unusual now, but we should not automatically assume that virtual relationships have less value than real relationships. The fact is, people already fall in love with fictional characters though there is no chance to meet and interact with them.

We should also remember that there are already many people living alone, people who perhaps have not been able to find a partner, or have lost a partner. Virtual sexual partners may provide significant psychological benefits for them – after all a virtual partner is surely better than no partner at all.

For those already in an intimate relationship, the psychological impact will depend on how they handle the co-existence of real and virtual relationships. Most people successfully integrate other forms of virtual reality into their lives, but virtual sex – not to mention love – will be seen by some as infidelity, and this will present real challenges to some relationships.

In the world of the future, we could well see human relationships increasingly conducted entirely online.And, as some people start to prefer technologically enhanced virtual sex to sex with humans, we may also see greater numbers of people living alone, spending more time in virtual reality.

Based on data suggesting that many young Japanese people are already avoiding sex and intimate relationships there are some suggestions that this may already be happening. Japanese men are already taking their virtual girlfriend apps away on holiday with them to the island of Atami.

Currently the lack of human contact could be harmful. Humans are naturally sociable and a lack of human interaction could lead to loneliness and isolation, which are linked to various mental and physical health problems.

But, in the long term, technology may overcome these problems. When eventually there are intelligent robots indistinguishable from humans – apart from their lack of bad habits, imperfections and need for investment – not only are we likely to choose them over ‘real’ humans but psychologically we will not suffer if we are not able to tell the difference.

Follow Dr Helen Driscoll on Twitter:
Dr Helen Driscoll
Senior lecturer and researcher in the University of Sunderland’s Psychology Department
#robophilia #techsex #sextech #pwd #healingtouch #sensualsolutions #intimacy #sexrobot


Soapbox Radio! Interview

Listen to Trish talk about the sexual human rights of people living with physical disabilities. Thanks to Co-op Radio and Carmen and Hazel, hosts of Soapbox Radio!, a program designed for people with disabilities. Check out the link to hear the interview.


Cast Your Ballot

Today is Oct 19. Our day to vote for a Prime Minister and a political party. Its important to cast your ballot and participate. Make your voice heard.


Calling All Doctors

Surrogate Team


A Shout Out to Health Professionals

Our connections with physicians, relationship therapists and sexologists are increasing! Sensual Solutions works with these professionals as a third-member of the treatment team as an external surrogate resource. Health professionals know the power of healing touch and it’s positive effects.

If you are a health professional with clients who live with physical disabilities and would like more information about what our Intimacy Coaches do, please contact Trish at 604-569-1136.

For potential clients – There is no referral or doctor’s care necessary to use our services.

#doctor #physician #relationshiptherapist #sexualhealth #sexologist #carer #surrogate #isolated #sexwork #brainhealth #healing touch


Let’s Talk About Sex Baby

We are on The Sunday Night Sex Show on CKNW 980AM with Maureen McGrath. Sept 20 8pm. Sensual Solutions on Sunday Night Sex Show


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Sensual Solutions

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